Have you ever thought to yourself, “I’ll be happy when…” or “If only I could…” or “If this one thing happens, then my life will be smooth sailing“?
This thought process, known as the “myth of arrival”, is a common one, especially when we’re going through life’s challenges. It’s the idea that if we could just achieve one specific thing – like a specific level of wellness or the ability to go to a certain place – then our lives would become so much better, more fulfilling, even *perfect*.
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? The temptation to think, “I’ll be happy when I’m well,” or “I’ll be happy when I can go anywhere, do anything,” can be strong. But this mindset can also lead to an unhealthy pressure to work harder to fix our current situation, and in turn, can distract us from finding happiness in our current circumstances.
| In a world obsessed with reaching goals, it’s not surprising that many of us feel pressure to “arrive” somewhere in order to achieve happiness. It’s an easy trap to fall into – the belief that if we would only accomplish one thing, then our lives would suddenly become perfect. For many of us, this belief often translates into a relentless pursuit of healing and wellness, an end-goal that seems like the key to unlock a life full of joy and happiness. However, the truth is, this mindset often does more harm than good. And it’s true, achieving goals feels really great, but it’s important to recognize that our worth and happiness are not dependent on these achievements. We’re already whole and complete before, during, and after we reach our goals. We’re not defined by our limitations or our accomplishments. This journey we’re on is not about arriving at a destination, but about growth, connection, and self-discovery. Even in our neural retraining journey, the weight of choosing the “perfect” program, finding the “best” teachers, or constantly striving to do “enough” retraining, can become burdensome, leading to exhaustion and discouragement rather than hope and relief. Neural retraining starts with finding peace in our current state, letting go of the past, and freeing ourselves from the constant worry about the future. It’s about celebrating our victories, no matter how small and remembering that our worth is not determined by our achievements. How would it feel to shift from “I’ll be happy when…” to “I’m content here and now”? Because the truth is, we’re never done growing and we never truly arrive. Life is an ongoing journey, and the best we can do is to find joy and connection each step along the way. The neural retraining journey may be challenging, but remember, your happiness doesn’t lie in a far-away future moment. It’s here, right now. You are resilient. You are strong. You are worthy of finding contentment. As always, I’d love to hear from you. If you’re struggling to create a neural retraining practice that brings you joy and contentment along with the wellness changes that you’re looking for, I’d love to talk. I offer a free 30 minute Zoom call to connect and see how I can help. Wherever you are in your wellness journey, I’m grateful you’re here and I’m cheering you on! |
