When someone we care about is going through a difficult time, we usually respond with kindness and understanding. We listen with compassion and love, reminding them of their strength and resilience. We don’t judge them or tell them they’re not trying hard enough. Instead we reassure them that it’s perfectly okay to have difficult days.
Often the kindness we extend to others can sometimes be the hardest to give to ourselves. But if we can tap into that same compassion when speaking to ourselves, we can become our own best cheerleader no matter what comes our way. Just as we would be there for a friend, we need to acknowledge our own struggles, validate our own feelings and remind ourselves of our strength and courage. When we choose self compassion, we choose to honor our journey, our struggles, and our strength.
Imagine speaking to yourself as you would a dear friend. What words of kindness and encouragement would you offer? Just as you wouldn’t judge your friend for her tough days, try not to judge yourself.
So how can we cultivate this self compassion?
- Pause and be aware. The first step towards self compassion is to pause and acknowledge what you’re feeling. Accept them without judgment. Understand that it’s perfectly normal to have difficult feelings and emotions.
- Reflect and speak to yourself. Think about what you’d say to a dear friend in your situation. Would you be harsh and critical, or would you offer kind words of support? Treat yourself with that same kindness and speak to yourself from a place of understanding and love.
- Focus on something positive. Instead of focusing on what’s difficult, try looking at what you’ve accomplished. Celebrate your victories, however small they may be. Focus on your resilience and strength.
- Practice gratitude. Gratitude can help shift your focus from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. It could be as simple as enjoying a cup of your favorite tea or looking out the window at the flowers beginning to bloom. Even just a few minutes of gratitude can change your day.
- Phone a friend. Whether it’s talking to a family member, calling a trusted friend, or even snuggling with a purring kitty, establishing connections can provide a fresh perspective and foster compassion.
Remember, your journey is unique and you’re more resilient than you believe. You are your best ally. Treat yourself with the same kindness and respect you offer to others. After all, the same kindness and understanding that makes us a good friend to others can also make us a good friend to ourselves.
