We all have expectations. We expect the sun will rise in the morning, the refrigerator will keep the food cold, and the car will start when we turn the key. Those simple expectations help us to make sense of the world around us.
But what about those other expectations? The expectations that when I complete all those things on my to-do list I’ll be able to relax, that I need to fix my health issues before I can find joy, or that I have to perform a certain way in order to earn love and respect? Those expectations feel like work; they’re heavy and stressful.
We all carry those heavy expectations. They limit us because they weigh us down with shame and guilt, quite often to the point of stealing our ability to find joy in the present moment. They trigger our limbic system – the brain’s fight or flight system that’s wired to help keep us safe. Life can become a burden that revolves around accomplishing that “thing” that will hopefully allow us to let go of that weight.
I see this often in the neural retraining world, and I’ve been there. We can get so focused on doing all the things (rounds, visualizations, meditations, laughter yoga, etc.) with the intention of fixing the “problem” and attaining the expected goal (health, energy, being able to eat freely, etc), that we end up adding more stress than we started with. We put unreasonable expectations on ourselves and end up burning out.
So instead of spending our energy on working towards expectations, what would it feel like to release the pressure of expectations and live the day filled with curiosity, adventure, and joy?
When you let go of the pressure of attaining the expectations and instead focus on joy in the moment and hope for the future, you’ll be able to relax into a sense of curiosity and adventure. It frees you up to be able to connect with yourself and with those around you.
Surrendering the pressure of attaining our expectations opens up so much more space for joy and freedom. And funny enough, when we’re emotionally in that space of joy and freedom is when the body is able to relax and focus on healing.
Where in life have you focused on the pressure to get to the destination and lost sight of the joy in the journey? Maybe you’ve gotten too focused on completing the list of “things to do”.
Or maybe it’s in beating yourself up or feeling like a failure for not being “good enough” to meet whatever your expectations are.
Next time you notice yourself weighed down by expectations, slow down and take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself, “How can I find joy and hope right now, in the journey?” Allow yourself to release the heavy weight of expectations, and feel into the joy of what’s going on around you in the present moment.
I’d love to hear from you. What kinds of expectations have you been holding on to that you’re ready to let go of?
