Ah, moving. One of life’s greatest stressors! Moving brings up so many emotions – fear of the unknown, stress from all the decisions that need to be made, anxiety over the financial implications, and the pressure of the never ending list of things that have to get done. As much as we’d like to put our heads in the sand and pretend that those feelings aren’t there, it’ll only make things worse. Especially if you’re dealing with health challenges, the stress of moving can send you further into flares and increased symptoms.
I’ve been seeing so many great results through my neural retraining practice over the past few years. I know that although stress didn’t cause my health challenges, managing stress and anxiety is critical to my recovery, so I’m completely committed to facing and working through the mental and emotional challenges that come into my life. Adding moving to the already on-going challenges of dealing with day-to-day living can definitely be overwhelming, so moving has provided a great opportunity to dig deeper and fine-tune my awareness of my stressors.
Whether dealing with moving or many of the other realities of life, we all face stress and anxieties. I’ve had several people asking about how to best progress through difficult and challenging circumstances while either managing chronic illness or while doing neural retraining, so I wanted to share some of the things I’ve learned the past couple of months.
- Self-care is critical. I know it’s tempting to let it go “just this once”, but it will quickly have an effect. I had times of thinking those thoughts, but it inevitably caught up with me. I had continued my 30 minutes of meditation/prayer/visualizations in the mornings, but my walks in the park and my mid-day meditation times had been put on the back burner. I noticed that I started feeling stressed and edgy, and just not happy. And of course there’s the old adage, “When mama’s not happy, ain’t nobody happy”. It’s so true. My stress trickled down to my husband, my kids, and the people who were helping us. It wasn’t pretty and made for a miserable time for everyone. So, I had to make adjustments. I’ve always seen myself as strong and able to do it all, so it took a lot of humility to stop what I was doing and go for a walk when I needed to, make a call to a friend, or add extra quiet time into my day, but it made all the difference in the world.
- A difficult situation doesn’t have to be miserable experience. Everyday I made a conscious effort to be grateful. Sometimes it was for the memories that popped up as I was sorting and packing, or for the tearful talks with my kids as they were dealing with the heavy emotions of moving. Other times it was in the simple joy of being able to participate in the day to day activities after so many years of being incredibly limited by my health struggles. There were always many, many things to be grateful for when I would just take the time to look.
- You find what you’re looking for. When I would start my day with dread and defeat because my to-do list was so overwhelming, that’s what would be waiting for me – a day full of stress, failure, and never “enough”. When I would start my day with curiosity, gratitude, and joy, then that’s what I would find. True, the to-do list would not be complete (face it, it never will be!), nor would the house be clean or the dinner Pinterest-worthy, but I could be happy, fulfilled, and connected with my family and friends. And honestly, isn’t that what we’re all really looking for anyway?
- It’s not about the destination. This is true not only in moving, but in all of life. When we focus on the end result whether it’s the new house, a new job, or the new relationship, life is the never-ending work of meeting the next goal. Plus, once we arrive at that magical moment of success, it’s short-lived and we’re off to the next big thing. This leaves a feeling of disappointment and constant searching, because those types of external goals just never satisfy. But when we’re focused on the inner qualities it gives us the ability to find fulfillment in each day as we move through our lives. For me, those goals are joy, courage, and connection. I can have those victories each day, even when I don’t finish my list of things to do. Each night I can go to bed with the satisfaction of knowing my choices for the day really mattered.
So whatever challenges you’re facing today, I encourage you to first stop and evaluate how things are going. Then take out some time to make decisions to rework or refine your approach. Life isn’t always the ideal day that we envision, but each day can be filled with joy and connection no matter the challenges that we’re facing.
Need some help? I offer coaching to help women with chronic health challenges to successfully navigate the stress of day-to-day life and find joy, connection, and purpose regardless of the circumstances. It really is possible! I’d love to hear from you!
