It’s that time of year again, when everybody’s big question is “What are your New Years’ goals?”
For the past several years I’ve gone against the expectations and haven’t set New Year’s goals. I’ve decided that it’s not for me and I’m okay with that. The traditional way of setting goals just doesn’t work for me and here’s why.
First, “losing 10 pounds”, “exercise 3 times a week”, or “read a book a month” just seems so uninspiring and dull. No wonder most people have forgotten their goals within the first few weeks of the New Year. If my goals don’t inspire me, I’m just not going to follow through, and I think that’s true for most people. Which leads to problem number two…
Goals imply success vs failure. Either I do them or I don’t. There’s no in between. And there’s a good chance that I won’t do them because I’m just not excited about them. Yes, I should do them and my intentions may be good, but honestly, how many times have you actually completed your New Year’s goals? Truthfully, I can’t think of once, which then leads me down the path of “I’ve failed”. I then feel so lousy about trying anything else or about taking even a minor risk, that I kind of roll over and play dead. I’m hesitant to commit to a new project or to step out and even try, because the pain of yet another failure is just too great.
The interesting thing is that most of our goals are good things, so why don’t we do them? The problem is that they are just “things”. Even if we attain our goals, it can leave us feeling empty and uninspired. I want my life to be about more than just things that I do. I want it to be about who I am and who I aspire to become. The typical New Years’ goals are no more than adding to my already overwhelming to-do list. I think that deep down, each of us wants more. We want to invest time and energy into things that will help us to grow and change, and be able to have an impact in our world.
So going into the New Year, I’ve chosen to create a “manifesto” – a declaration of my intentions for the year. A manifesto is more about who I want to be in this coming year, rather than a list of things I want to accomplish. It’s about how I want to grow, and the person I choose to become. When I focus on who I want to BE, the things will naturally fall into place. I’ll be inspired and motivated to make the hard choices and difficult sacrifices, because the outcome really truly matters to me.
It can be a bit overwhelming to stare at a blank piece of paper and wonder where do I even start to think about the person I want to be. I’d suggest starting with defining what values are most important to you in your life. What really matters to you? There’s no right or wrong answer here – each person will be different. Maybe for you, it’s joy, or connection, or personal peace. Or maybe it’s growth, or financial stability, or health. There are hundreds of options. Set aside some time to devote to really asking yourself what matters to you.
Then take some time to describe what those values look like in your life. Think about how prioritizing these values will change the way you think and act, the way you interact with other people, and how you make your day-to-day decisions. Again, there’s no right or wrong answers. The first time I did this, it was a soul-searching time of getting to know myself in a way I never had before, and the impact was huge.
I created my most recent manifesto a few years ago (the attached pic), but have gotten away from it the past few years. I pulled it out today and am so inspired. I see how I’ve grown since I first put those words down on paper and committed to being that person. I remember how scary it was to commit to those values that were important but had been somewhat neglected and pushed out by lesser things. I see how I’ve grown in the areas that I had focused on, and see other areas that I’m now ready to tackle. I’m excited to revise and rewrite it this year.
If you choose to do a manifesto this year, I’d love to hear how it goes, either privately or publicly. If you’re having trouble defining your values and what’s really important in your life, I’d love to work with you and help you figure it out, and how to prioritize those things in your life in the coming year. Feel free to contact me. Best wishes as you head into your New Year!
